Centrelink: the continuing saga
Tuesday, 13 December, 2005
So yesterday I ring up Centrelink to make an appointment to see a Job Services person. Despite the fact that I've had jobs in the past and I have a job lined up in the future and I'm quite capable of applying for jobs on my own, Centrelink insists that I must go see a Job Services person to talk about Job Seeking things. They tell me, “You have an appointment on the 20th December at our Leichhardt office.”
I say, “Really? I didn't know anything about that.”
Then they say, “Your Newstart allowance was approved on Saturday but now it's been cancelled.”
I say, “What? Why?”
They say, “Umm ... not sure ... can we call you back in 10 mins?”
I say, “Can you call me back in half an hour on my mobile? I have to go to work and it's going to take me half an hour to get there.”
Ten minutes later I am in the car, speeding through Marrickville, when my mobile rings. I answer, even though I am driving, and tell whoever it is (restricted number [which meant that it's probably Centrelink]) to call me back because I'm driving. They say, “Okay.”
I arrive at work and my mobile rings again. It's Centrelink. They tell me that my Newstart, which has been backdated to when my Austudy finished, has been cancelled because I failed to submit a “Lodgement Form”. I say, “What lodgement form?”
They say, “Newstart is not like Austudy. You do not get automatic payments. You have to submit a Lodgement Form or you will not get paid.”
I say, “Why didn't they give me one last week at my verifying interview?”
They say, “Because they can't give you one until your Newstart is approved.”
I say, “But my Newstart was only approved on Saturday.”
They said, “That's right. And you will not get paid until you submit a lodgement form.”
I say, “So can I download this off the net?”
They say, “No, you have to go into a Centrelink office this afternoon and get one.”
At this point, unable to contemplate facing another Centrelink office again and completely overwhelmed by the absurdity of Monty Pythonesque proportions of Centrelink's bureaucracy, I stop asking questions, dissolve into tears, and end the conversation. Poor Emma deals with my mess with much empathising and tea-making and then drives me to the Centrelink office in Maroubra during our lunch break.
There is a short queue at the counter and I tell Em to go off and get her lunch and not wait for me. But the queue quickly disappears and Em stays. (“You might need moral support,” she says. She's probably right.)
I hand over my healthcare card and say to the lady behind the counter, “I've been told I need to fill in a lodgement form.”
She brings my details up on the computer, frowns, and says to me, “Who told you that?”
I say, “This Centrelink guy from your Haymarket office.”
She says, “Your Newstart's been cancelled.”
I say, “I know. That's why I have to fill in a lodgement form.”
She continues to frown, push some buttons and fiddle with her mouse. Em and I look at each other and wait. She sighs, pushes some more buttons and keeps staring at the screen.
Time passes.
I say, “Is there a problem?”
She says, “I'm trying to reactivate your Newstart.”
I say, as the penny drops, “Because you can't print me out a lodgement form unless my Newstart is active?”
She says, “That's right.”
I bang my head on the counter.
She says, “I'm just trying to get in another way to do it ...”
Time passes. She must have done what she said she would do because finally she gets up, goes to the printer and retrieves my lodgement form. As she gives it to me, she says, “Fill this in and then join the queue and give it back to me.”
Em goes off to find sushi for lunch. I meekly do as I'm told. I almost start to panic when I see that one of the questions tells me that my partner needs to fill in a Mod P.
I join the queue again and hand in the form. I get served by a different lady. I say, “My husband's already filled in a Mod P.”
She says, “That's okay.” Somehow I do not think it is but I don't argue with her. She pushes some buttons and then tells me that everything's fine.
I leave very quietly and try not to live in hope.
Current:
Bible: Isaiah (ESV) 28/09/2010
seen: Tropic Thunder 26/09/2010
seen: The Life of Mammals 24/09/2010
seen: What a Girl Wants 19/09/2010
seen: Jerry Maguire 19/09/2010
seen: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 06/09/2010
seen: Tomorrow Never Dies 05/09/2010
seen: Nanny McPhee 28/08/2010
read: Mercury (Hope Larson) 27/08/2010
read: Spellcheckers Vol 1 (Jamie S Rich, Nicolas Hitori de, Joelle Jones) 16/08/2010
read: Solipsistic Pop Vol 2 (Solipsistic Pop) 16/08/2010
read: Chiggers (Hope Larson) 15/08/2010
seen: Josie and the Pussycats 14/08/2010
seen: Mr & Mrs Smith 14/08/2010
seen: Step Up 2 13/08/2010
Blinks:
How to recalibrate the home button on your iPhone.
Unsolicited manuscripts accepted by Pan Macmillan with certain conditions.
Thought Balloon is a group blog in which the writers tackle a new theme every week? month? with one-page scripts. This URL is for their Phonogram ones.
How to sew a zipper on a knitted garment.
Issues organised by tale.
Online magazine that publishes fairy tales that are not reworkings of old tales.
Journal that publishes fairy tale writing.
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