/karen/

Me vs. the Writer (who is also me)

Monday, 18 April, 2005

The Writer (TW): I can't write this.

Me: Of course you can. Why not?

TW: I'm not interested any more. It's not my thing. I can't do it.

Me: Nonsense! You're the one who came up with it in the first place!

TW: I was wrong. It's unwritable. Don't make me do this. Let's go do something else—something fun. Play a game of Freecell. Watch TV. Read that book you're in the middle of. Not this.

Me: It's not unwritable. It's a good idea. Even Tony thought so.

TW: No it isn't. Tony's wrong. I'm a sham! An imposter! I can't do this!

Me: You're just being dramatic. Of course you can. You've done it before.

TW: I fluked it then.

Me: You did not.

TW: I did! It wasn't me!

Me: Who did I catch pen-handed, then?

TW: (*huffily*) I'll have you know I use today's modern technology—the keyboard.

Me: So you can do it.

TW: No I can't. I just type the letters randomly. I'm very good at looking busy.

Me: Well, that will go down well with the boss.

TW: *Silence*. Oh, all right. But I'm hungry.

Me: Then eat something.

TW: The computer is distracting.

Me: Then put away the keyboard and get some paper and a pen.

TW: *Whining* Nobody loves me.

Me: I do.

TW: You think I'm great?

Me: I think you're very talented.

TW: Hmm, all right ... *rolls up sleeves* ... let's get to work ...

Me: *In an undertone* Me: one. Writer: zero.

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