/karen/

Mental Illness and Depression (viii)

Thursday, 30 November, 2006

Others

How can we help people we know who have depression? Here's a couple of things you shouldn't do:

• Tell them to just snap out of it.
• Tell them it's their fault they're depressed.
• Tell them it's because they don't have enough faith.
• Quote them bad theology, e.g. God is punishing you because you're sinful.
• Leave it to someone else to help.
• Avoid them.
• Give unwanted advice, like “You should go off your medication because that stuff is bad for you”.

So what should you do? Time for you to do some work. I'll give you five minutes to have a think about it with the people around you, and then we'll come back together and share.

[Regroup and take answers. Open up Word document. Suggest things from own list:]

• Change your expectations of what they are capable of; they may not be able to do the things they used to do anymore.
• Read the Bible and pray with them.
• Pray for them.
• Listen well—listen to understand, not to offer advice. Ask questions to increase your understanding of what it's like. Be compassionate and patient.
• Distract them from their thoughts.
• Look for symptoms of depression. Feed back to them about their moods and the amount of activities they're doing. Be alert especially if the person seems suicidal. If they are suicidal and you don't know what to do, consult the fact sheet on suicide prevention from Lifeline. Make sure you ask them if they have made plans to end their life (it's a helpful gauge to see how far down the road they are).
• Show them you care: ask them how they are and why they're sad but don't push it if they don't want to talk to you about it. Show them that you're not afraid to be their friend. Show love to them using their love languages.
• Affirm and encourage them.
• Discourage them from engaging in destructive behaviours, e.g. resorting to drugs and alcohol, and being sexually promiscuous.
• Challenge irrational thoughts and help them to think rightly about their situation, their relationships, church and God.
• Help them practically, e.g. go with them to the counsellor, let them know that you're happy for them to ring you at 3 a.m., help them obtain information, buy them groceries, clean their house, let them stay over at your place, lend them your car, etc.
• Encourage them to practise good self-care.
• Take them out to do something nice occasionally. It helps if you know what cheers them up.
• Take good care of yourself so that you don't start getting depressed too!

Okay, now we're going to pray and then have a short question time.

[Sarah gets everyone to pray in small groups, then closes in prayer. She also thanks me on behalf of everyone and gives me a small present that Lara prepared. Then we have a short question time. Then I sing “God is Good” by Matthew Salvetti on the piano. Then it's supper and everyone hangs around to chat.]

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